When I lived in Tokyo I had one main goal. I wanted to speak Restaurant Japanese. I knew I would never be fluent, good or even passable at real Japanese. But I figured I could learn a few numbers, a few phrases and the names of a lot of food. I was twenty-two. This was before iPhones so you couldn’t look words up and avoid the fate of ordering a hairy clam.
Essentially, I wanted to be presentable and comfortable in a restaurant where I was the only foreigner. That, after all these years, is still the case. I try to be a good guest, respect local culinary traditions, not ask for substitutions and speak enough Japanese to let them know I’m trying.
Have there been mistakes? In a word, yes. Many in fact. On the first day, the literal first day, I was in Tokyo I went to lunch near a museum and tried to leave a tip for the very nice older woman who waited on me and whose family owned the restaurant. She chased me down the street waving what amounted to a $10 bill. She thought I’d forgotten it. I gestured that it was for her and tried to act like a generous worldly gentleman. She was confused and possibly embarrassed. Don’t tip in Japan, I learned, you’re not proving anything.
Oh, and always wear socks, you never know when the loafers are going to come off and you’ll be parading your bare feet into a sushi bar. This bar will inevitably be designed in some sunken manner so that your feet, which in that moment have never looked more white and vulgar, manage to be exactly at the chef’s eye level. Abject humiliation.
These things happen and you apologize, smile and move on. But overall the broad lessons remain. Here are some ideas to help eat well when you’re abroad, from Japan to France.