Gratuity Included
An Intuitive Guide to Tipping
Tipping. We can’t escape it. The twenty to the bouncer (did this really work?), the tip jar promising karmic benefits, the brief, beleaguered era of the Captain’s Tip. Tipping should be simple but we know it’s not. Tipping was the first chapter of my book Men and Manners because the topic manages to be fraught, even though we do it almost every day. Tipping evolves as customs and technology evolve and also depends, naturally, on what country we’re in. Tipping speaks to how we interact with other people who often do hard jobs. After the pandemic there’s even more to think about.
I’m getting exhausted already. But tipping doesn’t have to be so intense. I try to take a broad approach, keep things simple and carry a lot of small bills. Here are some general principles and specific rules that will hopefully make the whole process easier.
-Do the Right Thing. The first rule and guiding light for everything else. Tipping well is a declaration that you’re trying to be a good guest who appreciates the people who work to make a hotel or restaurant better. If we start with that then what follows gets infinitely easier. Tipping is not about getting away with the least you can pay; it is not oppositional and it’s more than a mere transaction.
That’s the broad approach, which you probably knew anyway. You want to get granular? You want numbers? All right, let’s’ dive in.